Remember the days when you were a new couple? You craved the touch of your partner and you couldn’t wait to get some time between the sheets. Having sex made you feel connected and alive. It was one of the things you looked forward to and truly enjoyed.
So what happened? When and how did you lose your sexual desire? When did having sex become just another chore?
Perhaps you believe, ‘It happens to all couples. It’s natural.’
Yes, it does happen to a lot of couples, but it doesn’t have to be that way! And in my opinion it is not natural. Naturally, you are a vibrant, sexual being that can be enjoying a passionate and satisfying sex life for many years to come.
Stick with me for a few moments here and pause your, ‘I’m too tired,’ ‘I’m too busy,’ and ‘I just have no desire’ mindset and keep reading.
On the other side of your current reality and lack of interest is some amazing, yummy, orgasmic sex. It has the power to lift you out of the daily blah of just getting by. It can transport you to a vibrant, alive and creative place and reignite and deepen your relationship connection.
Here are 7 things you can do to get your sexual mojo back on track:
- Hormones – hormones are often the issue behind a lack of sexual desire. It is no secret as women age, their hormones adjust and it can cause all kinds of havoc. If your testosterone levels are lower it can result in a lower libido. Taking a zinc supplement can help as it blocks the enzyme that converts testosterone to estrogen. If that does not help and you suspect your hormones might be the issue, it is definitely worth a visit to your doctor.
- Get your sexy back – I hear a lot of women say, ‘but I don’t feel sexy anymore.’ Do you spend all of your time taking care of everyone except yourself? Sexy is a mindset and does not go away just because you have a few wrinkles or are not at your college weight. Oh – and those stretchmarks? Those my dear are battle scars – hell yeah Sexy Warrior Goddess! The secret is this – if you feel sexy then Honey – you are sexy! So treat yourself to some new matching bras and panties, paint your toes a pretty color and start doing things for yourself that make you feel cherished and adored. Do whatever makes you feel sexy again!
- Take sex off your list of things to do – Esther Perel says, ‘Sex is not a thing we do, it’s a place we go.’ Girl, you have enough stuff on your list of things to do. The last thing you need to do is think of sex like a chore – something you have to do so your partner doesn’t wander. Forget Calgon, good sex takes you away! In today’s busy and stressful world it is difficult to be present. Sex can take you to this place, where the only thing that matters is your sheer pleasure and connection. Think of sex as your stress reducing getaway, not another chore on your never ending list of things to do.
- Sex and yoga – similar benefits! Now I know it is all trendy to go to yoga and you get to hang out with your friends there, but I’m telling you, you do not even need to leave the house to get similar benefits. Sex is good for you! It is good for your immune system, lowers blood pressure, burns 5 calories per minute, lowers the risk of heart attacks, decreases pain, improves sleep, eases stress and balances hormones. Like yoga, sex is a holistic practice. It utilizes the mind, body, heart and soul. The more you do it, the better you feel.
- Use cycle intelligence – Do you know there are certain times of the month when you feel a lot more interested in sex than others? Perhaps you have charted your cycle when you were trying to get pregnant – or to not get pregnant. There are certain times in your monthly cycle when your hormones make you naturally more frisky. Pay attention mid cycle when you are ovulating and just before your period. Chances are you are likely more keen to ‘get away.’
- Keep the kids and pets out of your bedroom – I know, I know…you love your kids and you adore your fur babies. I love mine too. But your boudoir is your sanctuary – the place you make love! How the heck can you get down to business if your dog is in the bed! And if you can’t keep your bedroom a sanctuary then you will have to make out in the laundry room or living room – the choice is yours.
- Balance your sacral chakra – Sometimes a lack of sexual desire goes beyond the physical/mental realm and a block exists somewhere within the emotional/spiritual realm. This could be caused from shame or trauma, or in many cases people are unaware of the exact Your sacral chakra is one of your seven energy centers. It affects your creativity, zest for life and sexual experience. Ensuring it is balanced can help unlock what is holding you back from sexual desire. In my Your Tango article 4 Simple Ways Chakra Alignment Can Make You Feel Your Sexiest you can learn more.
Your sex life may not be like it was originally and that is okay. Your relationship has grown and changed and so have the two of you. But sex should be like fine wine only getting better with age. Enjoy your sexual connection and look forward to the experience that not only takes you away but create a deeper holistic relationship connection.