I am sensing some groans and eye rolling. I get it; meetings are not everyone’s cup of tea, but stick with me here.
Here are some statistics that illustrate the current reality:
- 43% of first marriages lead to divorce.
- 61% of second marriages lead to divorce.
- I hazard to guess at least 80% of couples currently in marriages are not completely satisfied.
If a business was up against similar metrics you can bet they would be scheduling a meeting or two to develop a strategy and proactively overcome obstacles to create success.
But love is different…isn’t it? Yes and no. Although love is different than work, they hold one thing in common.
If you do not invest time to discuss, plan and create success, chances are it will not happen.
We seem to have no problem understanding that in order to make companies and organizations thrive, we need to seek ways to continually improve. We are continually in an active state and easily commit to a Kaizan approach.
But when it comes to relationships there seems to be a distinct line in the sand between active and passive stages. There are two active phases – 1) The courting phase where you are assessing the suitability of the match and 2) The decision to be in an exclusive relationship.
Typically you move into a passive stage once you ‘settle down’ or commit to an exclusive arrangement. Alternatively, couples often choose a third active phase –the decision to have children. However, this active phase focuses on the relationship of ‘family’ and the ‘primary relationship’ stays or moves deeper in a passive state.
Imagine a business that remained in a passive state. How long do you think it would take for that business to go bankrupt?
Remaining in a passive, non-growth stage for too long will lead you straight to a flat line – relationship failure.
The one simple tool to ensure you are continually growing as individuals and as a couple is the meeting. The best approach is to schedule both monthly and quarterly meetings.
The Monthly Meeting – This is your commitment to a monthly date night. The purpose of this meeting is to connect and have fun. There is no agenda or required discussion, but rather a space created for just the two of you to do something together.
Take turns planning and pick a re-occurring time in your calendar. For example: every 3rd Saturday night of the month. If something else comes up, reschedule your date night to another time. The idea is to do something to get you out of the day to day passive state and nurture your connection.
The Quarterly Meeting – If you can plan a weekend away together somewhere that is an ideal situation; however, if not plan at least a day in your calendar once a quarter to spend some time together and strategize how to serve one another and the relationship better. For this meeting I recommend an agenda.
- You – the individual – What do you want to do in the next three months physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually to grow and expand as a human. How can I support you?
- Me – the individual – What do I want to do in the next three months physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually to grow and expand as a human? How can you support me?
- Us – the couple – How do we want to enhance our connection physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually? What can we do to achieve this?
Once you have your meeting, enjoy some time connecting, do something fun together, and of course have some great sex.
Relationships are living things and need continual nurturing to create sustainable success. Think about it – if you do not water your plant it will die, if you do not put another log on the fire it will burn out, if you do not go to the gym your body will begin to atrophy.
So why do we treat relationships different? There is no magic pixie dust. In order to create magic in your relationship you must commit to continuous and regular growth. And the meeting is the tool that can help you do this.
Action – schedule your weekly and quarterly meetings now. Put them in your calendar and schedule them as reoccurring meetings. Then take the Your Key To Unlocking Love Quiz to find out what is holding you back from the love you desire.
Need help? You do not have to do this on your own. Schedule a Complimentary Discovery Session with me so I can help you move forward to relationship success.